I am a registered nurse. I trust medicine, medical professionals, and the hospital. I truly believe that institutionalized healthcare can be essential for healing in times of illness, disease, and injury. I also truly believe that a normal, low-risk pregnancy does not fall into the categories of illness, disease or injury.
My pregnancy journey started as I believe most in this country do. I took a test, found an OBGYN, and began routine prenatal care. It never entered my mind that I might consider anything other than a hospital birth with an epidural. I knew that there were increased health risks for me and my baby with C-section, and had vowed to use that as a last resort, but had little to no idea of the risks involved with induction, epidural, vacuum extraction, forceps, and other common medical interventions, even with my medical background.
Fast forward to about 6 months pregnant: Wow! This is real. I’m not going to stay pregnant forever, and this baby is going to have to come out!
It sounds silly, but one day, it struck like lightning: there was another component to this pregnancy, and I had barely thought about it at all! So I started to think, first about what I wanted from a birth experience, then about how birth actually works. I knew I wanted to be surrounded by the people I love, and to have a healthy baby. I learned that in birth, as in all things, gravity matters. I didn’t want to labor, stuck on my back like a turtle, unable to walk or change position.
“Once the epidural’s in, I’m stuck,” I learned.
Guess that epidural’s out, and good riddance too! I don’t judge anyone who wants pain relief, but am glad that I learned of the possibility of stalled labor due to epidural. This often leads to interventions like IV administration of synthetic hormones to strengthen contractions. Stronger, unnatural contractions are extra painful, leading to increased pain medication. This can slow or stall labor. More hormones. Talk about a vicious cycle! Sadly, this cycle often ends in C-section, which was made necessary by unnecessary interventions. Count me out. I learned that atmosphere, mental preparedness, and the presence of loved ones mattered too.
What would happen, I wondered if I labored naturally. If I moved as my body told me I needed to? If I sought comfort in my husband’s arms instead of an IV? If I let my body take the reins and dictate the pace of my labor? If I trusted my instincts despite societal pressure and fear? I don’t know yet how this will end, but I can tell you that my fear, while still present, is so much less. I don’t fear birth anymore, because I finally realized that it’s not a death sentence, or an illness, or something unnatural. It’s what my body was made to do!
Enter, homebirth. I quickly decided to hire Sharon McDougal as my midwife. She was already working with my best friend (also an RN), and I was very impressed. I believed her when she told me she was not afraid to tell a laboring mother that she may need to transfer to the hospital, or to step in with medical intervention when necessary. As a nurse, I could appreciate that. I know things may go wrong, and I want someone who will act in the best interest of my health and the health of my child. I was relieved that my baby would be born into my arms, onto my chest, and allowed to enter this world with me, not a team of strangers.
My labor experience has yet to come, but I was there for the birth of my best friend’s son. It was beautiful. The love, strength, calm, and solidarity that the women involved displayed was immense. Nobody was more amazing than the laboring mother. Did she hurt? Yes. Did she cry? Oh, yes. Did she find strength within herself that she never before imagined? I’m sure of it. She moved, sipped water, asked for support, breathed calmly, and relied on people that loved her and believed she was capable. She delivered her baby, happy, healthy, and whole. I know that I can, too.
Sharon once told me, and I agree completely, that “I would never try to convince someone to do a homebirth.” It takes a certain type of woman. You need to trust your body, your midwife, and your baby to do what is best. You have to let go of fear and realize that giving birth is not a medical emergency. You have to become the leader of your care; you can no longer be a passive vessel. If you ever question the current practices of giving birth, or wonder if there are other options, I urge you to research, explore, and consider planned homebirth. It’s not crazy. It’s not impossible. It might be just what you’re looking for. Personally, I can’t wait!